A Thin Line Between Love and Hate

a thin line between love and hate

Here at It’s Only Bullets, we like to think of ourselves as your friends.

Friends do lots of things for each other – they get dinner together, they see movies together, they check in with each other even if there’s nothing big and important going on, they write on each other’s Facebook walls, they might even go shopping together – SO many things.  Close friends do even more – they pick each other up from the airport, they take the other person’s phone away from them when they get the urge to drunk dial, they make them chocolate milkshakes when they’re sad, and they attend each other’s weddings.

(And special types of BFFs invite random people they met at the airport and whom they’ve only talked to on Twitter to their house for an entire weekend.)

However, many a friendship’s demise has come about thanks to the minefield that is relationship advice between friends.  Giving relationship advice to your friends can be tricky, and there are many places where you can fail: give too much, give too little, say things your friend doesn’t want to hear, say nothing and appear unsupportive, or just plain old say the wrong thing.

We’re here to help.

#1.
I was at a bar with a single friend (female).  It was a fairly small bar and only a few parties moved in and out the whole night.  Towards the end of the night, only my friend and I and a group of guys were left.  Since we were the only groups left, they came over to our table and started talking to us.  They said they were in town on business, and were taking in the local night life.  We chatted until the bar closed, swapped details, and then went our separate ways.  In my mind, it was nothing more than some friendly conversation, and numbers saved for later, but a friend of mine insists the guys were hitting on us.  How do I know when a guy is just being friendly?  Any telltale signs to help me figure out if a guy is hitting on me?  Thanks!!

Thankfully this one is easy, real easy.  And all you have to do is ask yourself two questions.  Is the guy clearly accompanied by a female?  Is the guy gay?  A yes to either, you are in the clear, but a no to both and he’s hitting on you.  Did he ask you about the weather?  Hitting on you.  Ask you where you are from?  Hitting on you.  Momentarily stare in your general direction with or without making eye contact?  Hitting on you.  Offer to by you a drink?  Hoping to sleep with you.  Face it ladies, we gentlemen were born to do one thing, and only one thing, and it isn’t to buy you a RBV.

#2.
I was in a long-term relationships for awhile, but I’ve been back on the singles scene for a bit.  I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months now.  We talk pretty much every day, and we have a great time together.  Right now we’re in the “dating” phase (I think), and I’d like things to be more serious, but I don’t feel comfortable bringing it up.  Can you help?  How long do people date for?  Do people still have “The Talk”?  Help!

I’m sure everyone will give you different answers for this one, but the key is your age.  The older you get the less we feel the need to codify “dating” (no more sock hops, no more varsity jackets to drape over her shoulders when it’s cold out).  So once you leave college behind, If you’re not engaged you fall into one of two groups: you are exclusively dating or you are not.  It’s that simple.  Given the fact that you are “talking every day” I suspect that you may be in the former group already.  So my question would be how much more serious you want to get: meet the parents, buy a dog, hit up a different page of the Kama Sutra every night.  Regardless, just ask specifically about what you want, no reason to beat around the bush because your boyfriend does not.  We don’t want to have try and figure out what it is you’re thinking as you silently brood in the background, passive aggressively ripping off the individual petals of a flower trying to determine if he loves you or he loves you not.

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