Pop Culture Throwdown: King of Disney Voices

It's Only Bullets Pop Culture Throwdown

Do you know who David Ogden Stiers is (DO NOT GOOGLE HIM)?  No?  Then I’m going to assume you don’t watch a lot of Disney movies because that guy is all over them.  Go ahead and Google him now – check out his Wikipedia page, which even states that he is “noted for his roles in Disney films”.  Noted for these roles before his roles in “M*A*S*H” and “Perry Mason”.

Here’s the sexy beast who is the topic of this week’s throwdown (you know, just in case you wanted a visual).

David Ogden Stiers

Hot, right?

Now when I first thought up this throwdown (it came to me in a brilliant flash of light, or probably while I was daydreaming while driving on the highway, whoops), I immediately thought of two of David’s Disney characters: that pompous gasbag clock Cogsworth from “Beauty and Beast” (the first animated film to be nominated for an Academy Award for best picture (and back when the pool was only five pictures, none of this ten picture shit)) and the equally pompous gasbag (but much uglier) Governor Ratcliffe from “Pocahontas”.

Check ’em out.

Cogsworth

Cogsworth is the prissy, fussy little clock from “Beauty and the Beast” who is the total downerpants to Jerry Orbach’s awesomely fun Lumiere.  While Lumiere’s off throwing parties and kissing dustbusters, Cogsworth is wringing his hands and fretting over the wrath of the Beast (not unwarranted, since that guy has got MAJOR anger issues).  Lumiere does his best to ensure that Belle gets trapped hangs around long enough to maybesortapossibly fall in love with the Beast and break the spell while Cogsworth just toddles along and chastises everyone.  If it weren’t for that one scene where he makes a really sad face, I’d almost think he enjoys being a clock and is rooting against the Beast (WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE, COGSWORTH)?

Governor Ratcliffe

While Cogsworth is a stick in the mud, Governor Ratcliffe is a megadouche.  He’s the governor (DUH) of the Jamestown colony and believes in white supremacy, which, shit – is probably not a group of people with which you generally want to be associated.  He becomes convinced that the Powhatan natives are hiding gold in Virginia and is generally just a dick to them.  Even his little dog Percy can’t save him from being one of the most evil Disney characters ever (pretty sure if we look at this objectively, he’s right up there with Frollo and Maleficent, who SUCK).  He has the distinction of leading one of Disney’s most racially-tinged songs, too!  WIN! (Does Disney honestly think that any child is going to understand the real meaning of this song?  Pfffft.  They’re just going to prance around whooping, “Savages! Savages!”)

(I know, I know – where’s Jumba!? where’s the Archdeacon!?  Maybe we’ll get to them another time.)

*****

So who will it be?  Clock vs. rat?  Priss vs. douche?  Cogsworth’s mustache vs. Ratcliffe’s mustache?  The Governer’s girth?

As always, voting criteria is your own.

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Pop Culture Throwdown: Ian McKellen, Geek God (Round 3)

Hi there!  It’s been awhile, huh?  Let’s revive the Pop Culture Throwdown (again) with an old favorite.  We’ll be back next week with an all new series!

It's Only Bullets Pop Culture Throwdown

We don’t have a complementary Mancrush series here, but if we did, I’m pretty sure Sir Ian McKellen would make an appearance, especially because my taste in men tends to trend towards the more mature fellows.  (Except for Zac Efron.  I love Zac Efron.)

(And we’re totally the same age, so that makes it okay.)

(DO NOT JUDGE ME.)

I’m pretty sure we’ve already covered what a huge dork geek I am, but in case you missed it, let’s jump right into the deep end with our Ian McKellen geek-off.

Ian McKellen

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The Fall 2013 TV Season – Night by Night

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You have seen the fall schedules from each of the broadcast networks, and now here are the night by night schedules.

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thursday_2013

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The 2013 CW Fall Schedule

CW

In advance of their Fall 2013 Upfront Presentation on Thursday, CW released their Fall 2013 schedule.  Let’s take a look…

cw_actual_2013

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The 2013 CBS Fall Schedule

CBS

In advance of their Fall 2013 Upfront Presentation on Wednesday, CBS released their Fall 2013 schedule.  Let’s take a look…

cbs_actual_2013

With their ratings and schedule in relatively good shape, CBS made minimal moves for next fall.  There are two items of note however.  The first is that the long rumored Thursday night two hour block of comedies has finally seen the light of day with two new comedies including The Crazy Ones, starring Robin Williams, book-ended by The Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men.  The other item of note is that Person of Interest moves to Tuesday night to make room.  CBS debuts only one new drama in the fall, Hostages, on Monday night sending Hawaii Five-0 to Friday.  Mike and Molly is held for midseason to make room on Monday for two additional new comedies: We Are Men and Mom.

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The 2013 ABC Fall Schedule

ABC

In advance of their Fall 2013 Upfront Presentation on Tuesday, ABC released their Fall 2013 schedule.  Let’s take a look…

abc_actual_2013

The big changes are readily apparent by looking at Tuesday night which features three hours of brand new programming including fall tent pole Marvel’s Agent’s of S.H.I.E.L.D. to start the evening followed by two new comedies and the lottery drama Lucky 7.  The results show for Dancing with the Stars has been folded back into the Monday night mothership.  Another interesting wrinkle is the benching of Suburgatory (no doubt to resurface when one of the new comedies fails) to make room for two new comedies on Wednesday including Super Fun Night which gets the primo post-Modern Family time slot.  Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (the Once spinoff) finds itself in the Thursday night death slot for the Alphabet network.

 

 

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The 2013 FOX Fall Schedule

FOX

In advance of their Fall 2013 Upfront Presentation on Monday, FOX released both their Fall 2013 and Late Fall 2013 schedules.  Let’s take a look…

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Interestingly FOX has divided fall into two different pieces with early fall and late fall giving the network a chance minimize repeats on a number of nights throughout the year.  This means time slot sharing and series running into the summer including Glee and the rebirth of 24.  Nothing entirely surprising on the schedule with the exception of Friday.  Friday goes from a throwaway in the early fall to just confusing in the late fall with the move of anchor Bones and the downright bizarre launch of new comedy Enlisted at 9:30 pm on the night right after the return of Raising Hope.  I suspect those comedies may just be in a parking lot to be used somewhere else at on a different date.  The Following returns at midseason along with newcomers Rake, Gang Related, Us & Them, Surviving Jack, and animated comedy Murder Police.

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